Why the relic fad should just die.

I am completely over this fascination with relic or road worn guitars. I don't mind them as a tribute to an iconic guitar owned by a famous guitarist (for example the Rory Gallagher Strat), but as a marketing gimmick? Fender at NAMM is launching the new entry level Relic series titled Road Worn. Here is what they have to say:

Some things just get cooler with age. It’s especially true of electric guitars and basses—they develop an unmistakable mojo that makes them look cooler, sound better and feel even more comfortable than when they were brand new. Hence the winter 2009 arrival of Fender’s new Road Worn series—Stratocaster, Telecaster, Precision Bass and Jazz Bass guitars that, while new, are designed to look like they’ve borne the wear, tear, blood, sweat and beers of thousands of miles on the road.

Now here is what I have to say:

This is the most meaningless way to make yourself feel important and "legitimate" as a guitarist as you can go. There is no character in these guitars, they all look the same. Part of the joy of having a beat up guitar is getting it to look that way. If you buy it like that from the factory, you don't live and grow with the guitar you just bought over time. It's like adopting a 10 year old with scars. You don't get the funny story about the kid falling out of the tree or scraping their knee learning how to skateboard, you just get a banged up kid.

My two main guitars are full of stories. They have been on the road. They have lived. One has a giant crack on the neck's finish from me throwing it into my amp and the end of the gig. That was the same gig I had a fat chick pour a beer on my head because I turned down her "invitation" to "party". My other main guitar has a matte finish on it that has been rubbed off by my right arm from too many hot night in hot bars in country New South Wales, Australia. Not to mention the countless dings and scratches that have happened from onstage (and offstage) mishaps.

What happened to these guitars was natural, an evolutionary process of myself as a guitarist and a performer, and the bonding between a man and his musical instrument. The guitar wears in to your playing, your body, your touch. This cannot be done from a factory. This can not be achieved without putting in the effort, the energy, the time, blood sweat and tears, the passion, everything it takes to be a real musician.

These guitars have no soul.

Seriously, if you are going out to buy a brand new PRS for example, and you get to the shop and they try to sell you at full price one with dints and rubbed off paint at full price, what would you think? Would you buy it?

I know I wouldn't. So why should trashing the guitar deliberately be any different? In my mind it isn't.

Image: Stephen Poff